


Wish Upon a... Wait Goddamnit

by Macremae



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Gen, Laughing Gas, so many ladybugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 07:43:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4779173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macremae/pseuds/Macremae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hera has a slight issue with the ventilation systems. Things occur because of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wish Upon a... Wait Goddamnit

**Author's Note:**

> This idea sprung up in the chat during the AMA, in which someone suggested there be a story in which Wolf 359 spoke. Naturally, I had to write something.

The star was talking to him.

Eiffel didn’t really understand how this could be happening, but then again, there were like, three million or something ladybugs covering the station walls, so…

He forgot where his train of thought was headed. 

“That’s normal.” said Wolf 359 calmly. 

“Was I talking? I don’t remember talking.” Eiffel replied, eyeing the star suspiciously.

“Of course you were talking. How else could I have heard?”

Oh, right. Duh.

“Um, Eiffel?” Hera asked warily, “Are you o-okay? You didn’t say anything.”

Eiffel snorted. “Of course I did, the star said so.”

“What? Eiffel, Wolf 359 isn’t sent-tient in the slightest. It can’t think, much less talk.”

“Well you’re obviously wrong, because we are having a very lovely conversation right now. Aren’t we?”

“Indeed.” said Wolf 359.

Hera didn’t get it.

It had become pretty clear to her at this point that something was up. What exactly that was however, remained to be discovered. Eiffel’s vital signs looked normal, so he obviously wasn’t sick. He had an influx of Nitric Oxide in his systems though, but that was probably just a side effect of the light radiation.

A quick dip into her data banks proved otherwise.

Shit.

“Hey, C-Commander?”

Minkowski looked up from her set of reports at the speakers. 

“Yes Hera?” she replied.

“We have a teensy, tiny problem.”

“Oh God, what’s Eiffel done this time?”

“N-no, he didn’t do anything. It was, sorta me.”

Minkowski’s eyes widened. “You didn’t accidentally kill him did you?”

“What? Of course not! I just, m-maybe, while working out some kinks in my ventilation system, released a large quantity of Nitric Oxide into the comms room.”

The commander was dead silent for a moment.

“You got him high on laughing gas?!”

“In Layman’s terms… yes.”

Minkowski took three seconds to comprehend the terrible sitcom that was her life.

“Okay, has he damaged anything?”

“No, but he is holding a conversation with Wolf 359.”

“Of course he is.” she sighed, and grabbed the bar on the wall.

\--

A few hours later, Eiffel was not a happy camper.

When Minkowski had ventured into the comms room, she had found him attempting to pop invisible bubbles, and discussing the hidden themes of Parks and Recreation with no one.

There were few things that couldn’t be solved with a quick blow to the back of the head, something that Eiffel was still sore about.

“I still don’t understand how knocking me out was necessary.” he grumped whilst holding an ice pack to the lump on his head.

“I had to make sure you didn’t do anything stupider than usual.” Minkowski answered.

“Yeah, but I didn’t club you when you were drunk.”

“That’s because I would have killed you.”

“Fair point.” Eiffel shrugged. “Besides, I got a very interesting mixtape out of the occasion.”

“Wait, what?”


End file.
